Whats on my mind today? and Sorry I have been gone so long...

There was something I wanted to say today. I keep thinking and thinking and coming back to the idea that of all religions I could be I simply must be a Universalist. So many fervent beliefs, so many personal truths, for so many people. How do we decide as a people who is right and who is crazy? Am I qualified to make this distinction? Are you?

I feel like the divine must be able to overcome all of that. The divine is capable of being what each person who needs it, needs. (I hope I did not make that statement too convoluted.) For the people who need Allah, the divine is Allah. For those who need the Greek gods, or the Celtic gods, or Yahweh, that which is divine is all of those. That which is divine is not limited to that which is within my own perception, it is beyond my own experience, it is divine. How can mortals put restrictions on that which is divine? How are we so perfect to know better? I think we are not, and I think we need to remember that as people we are more alike than we are different. We all need food and water to survive. We each have blood running through our veins, and we are all human, and we all deserve respect no matter what our beliefs.

I know, short post, but that’s how I am thinking today, and I know, it has been a long while since my last post. Sorry! I will try for weekly again!

Pray for Peace

I mentioned that I was going to start attending the local UU church and this poem/prayer was spoken there and I felt like I needed to share it.

Pray for Peace

Pray to whomever you kneel down to:
Jesus nailed to his wooden or plastic cross,
his suffering face bent to kiss you,
Buddha still under the bo tree in scorching heat,
Adonai, Allah. Raise your arms to Mary
that she may lay her palm on our brows,
to Shekhina, Queen of Heaven and Earth,
to Inanna in her stripped descent.


Then pray to the bus driver who takes you to work.
On the bus, pray for everyone riding that bus,
for everyone riding buses all over the world.
Drop some silver and pray.

Waiting in line for the movies, for the ATM,
for your latte and croissant, offer your plea.
Make your eating and drinking a supplication.
Make your slicing of carrots a holy act,
each translucent layer of the onion, a deeper prayer.

To Hawk or Wolf, or the Great Whale, pray.
Bow down to terriers and shepherds and Siamese cats.
Fields of artichokes and elegant strawberries.

Make the brushing of your hair
a prayer, every strand its own voice,
singing in the choir on your head.
As you wash your face, the water slipping
through your fingers, a prayer: Water,
softest thing on earth, gentleness
that wears away rock.

Making love, of course, is already prayer.
Skin, and open mouths worshipping that skin,
the fragile cases we are poured into.

If you're hungry, pray. If you're tired.
Pray to Gandhi and Dorothy Day.
Shakespeare. Sappho. Sojourner Truth.

When you walk to your car, to the mailbox,
to the video store, let each step
be a prayer that we all keep our legs,
that we do not blow off anyone else's legs.
Or crush their skulls.
And if you are riding on a bicycle
or a skateboard, in a wheelchair, each revolution
of the wheels a prayer as the earth revolves:
less harm, less harm, less harm.

And as you work, typing with a new manicure,
a tiny palm tree painted on one pearlescent nail
or delivering soda or drawing good blood
into rubber-capped vials, writing on a blackboard
with yellow chalk, twirling pizzas--

With each breath in, take in the faith of those
who have believed when belief seemed foolish,
who persevered. With each breath out, cherish.

Pull weeds for peace, turn over in your sleep for peace,
feed the birds, each shiny seed
that spills onto the earth, another second of peace.
Wash your dishes, call your mother, drink wine.

Shovel leaves or snow or trash from your sidewalk.
Make a path. Fold a photo of a dead child
around your VISA card. Scoop your holy water
from the gutter. Gnaw your crust.
Mumble along like a crazy person, stumbling
your prayer through the streets.
   -Ellen Bass



Picture found Here.

My Garden

I will start off by saying that this is not a how-to. My “garden” currently consists of a few little potted seedlings starving for light and a few more seed-pots still waiting on the sill to sprout. I am not a garden expert, I just love using herbs and making my own things and growing has always been a wee bit on the difficult side for me, a tiny apartment will do that to a witch. I even started out with quite a few more seeldings, but did not realize that a kitten would eat sage and thyme if it was there… She did and now they have found their way to a slightly less sunny windowsill…

My mom always planted shady flowers, living in the woods meant that we had to. We never had the really bright and exotic fun flowers, but my mother had a thing for hostas of all different sorts and they always grew so well for her. We never had a lot of vegetables mostly the things that could sit on a window, or deep within the shade of a forest. I guess I did not pick up the same innate ability for making plants work like my mother did, so I have mostly avoided trying to have them after moving out of my mother’s home. I think that was a mistake on my part.

Trying to grow the little buggers now is hard but I just love having them, they are like sad misshapen little children (the poor light means they are a wee bit on the scraggly side.) I can’t wait till I get to use them, in incenses, and cooking, baking and other spells, it will be lovely to have herbals to use that I don’t have to order online. I do love my online herbal store, but some things are worth doing myself, to connect me further to what I am doing, to bring me nearer to the earth, and to all things divine.

My garden is my attempt to learn more about my earth, my garden is small but it is mine, and it has magick too!

Growing; Get up and do it already

So this post is going to be a bit of a mixed bag on too many things. It may not even feel connected to itself. It has been an exceedingly rough week, and I am quite done with it. I had a different post planned, one that was going to be thoughtful and maybe even stoic, good and properly Pagan in all of the right places, but today and this week just aren’t the times for them. It has been bad enough that I am having some trouble putting thoughts together, but I know I need to, for my own piece of mind.

I won’t get into the specifics of what happened this week, well not all of them, but I will say what I said on FB, (I don’t always like admitting that I use it.) If this week had been food, I would return it, without wanting a replacement or my money back, I just want it gone. Over. Done. There were a series of really quite unfortunate events, which, while completely unrelated to one another, ultimately culminated in the death of my paternal grandmother on Thursday. She had not even been very sick for long, she was only really ill the last few weeks, she was in and out of the hospital, and then all at once, she passed. Her husband passed on good Friday of the previous year, so I suppose that it makes sense that she would pass so very close to her beloved husband of 60 years in a similar fashion, on a similarly holy day of their faith. It is hard to see my father, a generally somewhat closed emotionally man, break down and cry so often. Losing your mother has got to be hard.

Being who I am though, and what I am, I know that dying is a part of being alive, and it is such a necessary part of being alive too. Because what is life, if we did not die? What would it mean? What COULD it mean? Being philosophical, or understanding about it, doesn’t make it happier, nicer, or frankly, easier to deal with. But it does give me a different way to deal with it. The thing I am keenest on doing right now is taking a bit of soil from both gravesites, (I first need to check on the legality, or local rules of such a thing, can’t be caught doing something can get me arrested…) and putting it into a pot and starting a small tree. The only current problem with this is the lack of a place to put the poor little tree once I have started it. Unless I plan on keeping it as a bonsai, which I have had less than poor luck with in the past.

This is not meant to be the entirety of my post. I have no intention of lingering on the past, or on the negative, every life should be a celebration, (again, death being a part of said life.) and I mean to have a few drinks in the honor of my ancestors, especially the newest within the ranks of ancestors in spirit. Another thing I have been meaning to do is find a proper spiritual community in the area I am currently living. I have had an affinity for the Unitarian Universalist church recently and have been meaning to attend a service or two and see what it is all about. The doctrines sit well with me, and the specific mission statement of the local congregation (dunno if I am using the correct word,) are of particular interest to me.

As members of a welcoming, religiously liberal community, we care deeply about each other, our children, our neighbors and our Earth.

Together, we provide a haven for nourishing the spirit and mind, while we strive to build a just and sustainable world.

We covenant to respect our differences, and to commit our time, our treasures and ourselves to this mission.

I just cannot argue with a belief system like this. Any organization that is built upon these beliefs seems well suited to me and what I do. I suppose my biggest hurdle is that I have not been “church going” in a number of years. I seem to not want to break out of the “spend the day in pajamas” cycle. I basically need to get my butt out of my lovely-loungy bed, and get to this lovely place and be a part of a community in a more personal sense, and in a larger sense. It is time to care for the world around me in a way that makes a visible difference. Not for myself, as I don’t much care what the world at large thinks of me, but I do care about what the world at large thinks of pagans, and I really do want to make a positive impact in that way.
So here is to taking what the powers that be throws at you and growing from it. Here’s also to getting the heck up and just doing it!

Late-Winter, or Early Spring?

So since spring has started we have had more snow around here than we had all winter. Go figure!

Since it is snowing after the official first day of spring, is it a late- winter snow, or an early spring one? Well, it was certainly pretty. The hubby did not like it much, but he has shoddy brakes, and balding tires, and I suppose it is a fair enough sentiment, except that there was no snow on the roads. It was nt even cold enough for the snow to stick to more than the freezing little plantlings starting to come up. It has been getting toasty since then, which is probably for the best, I do like it toasty.

I hope spring is finding everyone fairly well, I do love me some spring, well I love em all, better when its warm though!

Follow-Through

I know, again, this topic feels all not-pagan-y, but it is, at least to me it is. Maybe it is more witchy than pagany, but, eh semantics.

This really does have a bit to do with spell-work. We do all the planning for our spells and we find all of the right things, and we do everything in the right order. Then we raise our energy and cast our spell. And it is all done, we quit worrying about it, but why don’t we care anymore?

This is not true for everyone some people ARE really good about their follow-through. Asking for raises after money spells, putting job applications in after job spells, going out and talking to people after love spells. More people seem not to. It seems as though some people want to go through the motions and say the words and let someone, or something else do everything else for them.

Spells are great, I can do things with magic that I never could without it. But the universe, or divine, or spirits aren’t all perfect, they will not bend they laws of reality for you, they make things move in your favor, but if you can’t be bothered to start the ball rolling, there is no point in there being a place to get it. If you don’t back your magic with a few actions often the spell itself is even incomplete, and nothing can happen, because you may be actively holding it back. Magic can help you achieve your goal of being a bit skinnier this year, but not if all the food you are living off of comes from the donut shop… There is only so much your spell can do, if you don’t really care whether or not it works…

Maybe that is the crux of the issue, why most spells require follow-through, because without the follow-through, you aren’t really putting your energy behind the spell. You are holding it in, and really fully committed to making the spell work, or having what the spell may result in. If the results of the spell are not going to be something you are prepared for, then maybe it is a good way of judging whether or not the spell should work. Just my thought on this though, and I am certainly not perfect.

Happy Equinox!

Another sun rises, without fanfare

On another new day

Another morning dawns anew

And another moon lies down

Another night fades away

As they always do

Another day begins as the world continues to spin

And the year moves on once more

Just as it always has

Failure and equality

I don't care if it "qualifies" as a pagan issue, it is a human rights and safety issue which should concern everyone, pagans and buddhists, catholics and protestants, athiests and fundementalists.

Watch this video, and read this article.

"The epidemic of rape in the military may have finally reached a turning point with the case of Lt. Colonel James Wilkerson. After being convicted by a military jury last November of aggravated sexual assault, and sentenced to a year in jail, Wilkerson was set free by Lt. General Craig Franklin, who dismissed the case using power granted to commanders in the Uniform Code of Military Justice."

“I was assaulted. I reported it. I endured the public humiliation and the end result is that it was all for nothing,” said Wilkerson’s accuser in a statement.

“The Secretary of Defense has absolutely no voice on his country’s policy on Israel…Even on military deployment issues and military budgets, the Secretary of Defense is merely one of the many voices the president will hear when the president makes decisions about our tactical military choices in Afghanistan and elsewhere…But the Defense Secretary does have sole jurisdiction over how to handle what is now an absolutely out-of-control crime wave in the United States military for thousands of American soldiers; the military has become a rape club.”


This is a failure. I don't care who you are, but with all of the supposed "progress" the military makes in the direction of equality and rights, a convicted rapist can walk away without punishment and be put back into a position of power. People have been raving about it within churches for a few years, but why are we silent on the issue in the US military? It is not OK to be silent, at all, this needs to come out, and needs to be said. Rape is never OK. There is no such thing as "legitimate rape" Rape is rape, whether you fight, or you are drugged, or are coerced, rape is ALWAYS RAPE!

This is the situation for every woman in the military. Not every woman has a chain of command support system to help them. If the person who is the problem has powerful enough friends, you are nothing more than a target, or a conquest. If you do not have proof that it was rape, then in many cases as far as your unit can be concerned, you were never raped. This is not right, and this should be taken care of.

Life is amazing, and inherently magical. No part of it is evil or wrong or dirty. Nothing that any human is born able to do is unnatural. People are nature and it is all a part of the divine.

Maybe that’s the problem, people forget what makes a person a person, and we allow one another to lose their divinity. We stop seeing people as other people, and start seeing them as problems, or annoyances, or in our way. Maybe that is why some people see themselves as better or more important, or endowed with some aspect of divinity that others lack, which simply is not the case.

I am no better than you, and you are no better than me. We are all equally human. Whether we are talking about someone’s right to their body and its autonomy, or about being unable to afford sufficient healthcare to lead decent lives. We are all the same. The same as no one has a right to decide what’s good for me, I have no right to tell you how to raise your children, (and believe me there are people some days…) No one has the right to rape or kill another person, ever. I don’t care if you think women should be subservient to men, or you feel like the woman wants it and is teasing you, it doesn’t matter (and this does not just apply to women, men are raped as well, and in larger unreported numbers, than many people have been lead to believe.)

You can think you are better than me, and you can do what you like with that thought, but if you decide to act on this, and you decide to do something that harms another person without their consent You deserve what the law and a jury of your peers says you deserve, and sometimes, much more. What two consenting adults do to one another with one another’s permission is not my concern, it is what happens when there is no consent that concerns me.

When the way people live and the culture we are a part of makes it ok for a person to lose part of what it means to be a person, in order for someone else to feel more important, or to glorify someone else’s belief in an angry vengeful deity, then it is a time for a change. A big overarching change.  A change like we have not seen in many years. We need to change our culture and our society, we need to erase this perception of gender roles, and inferiority for groups of people. We need to look at all people as though they are equal. Whether you feel like people were created, or designed, or a random chance. Being alive is amazing, and natural, and even sacred. We need to treat our own and everyone else’s bodies as such, and stop trying to take autonomous control of bodies which are not the ones we were born in.


One man can overturn the decision of a jury and make all of the humiliation of rape and reporting and testifying be for nothing. Think on that for a moment. Then we can talk about equal rights...


Article and quotes courtesy MSNBC Video from youtube

Vernal Equinox

Considered one of the lesser sabbats by many witches, but not me, I love the lesser sabbats. I have more affinity to the astrological dates, the days when clearly the universe is sending a message, where the balance of the earth is changing. These are the dates I have been close to since I was a wee one.

Mine are really not this pretty

This one is so pleasant too, spring is coming. I know the equinox is not until the 20^th of march, but today is the E and I’m gonna take it! This day marks the truest dawning of the spring, the seeds are sown inside and some early spring flowers are starting to come up, many others are blooming. The rabbits, are waking up and getting frisky, hence the symbol of fertility. The day is always full of rabbits and colored eggs and spring and flowers. I plant my wee seeds, and hope the sprouts don’t get eaten by cats. I paint egg shells as gifts, and make egg shaped candles for the altar and daytime ritual. (Some of these crafts may be posted as we near the date!)

This sabbat is just a part of the turning of the earth, another symbol that it all comes back around. No matter how bad it seems or long the darkness may feel, it cannot last forever, nothing can. The world must remain in balance.

Dear Goddess, Help me!

Goddess of transformation, painting
Jen Lester

Dear Goddess,
Help me to know what is worth fighting for and which battles are already lost.
Help me to see the beauty in everything and dismiss nothing as ordinary.
Help me to wake up every morning and feel renewed rather than worn out.
Help me to see the divine in myself rather than looking so far away.

Dear Goddess,
I know you watch and I know you wait.
I know you want me to learn and I know you rejoice as I do.
Please allow me the space to make mistakes without hating myself for them.
Please help me to see that I am only human and cannot always be perfect.

Dear Goddess,
Help me to know when to use my sword and when to use my shield.
Help me to understand the nature of the things I can understand.
Help me to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Help me to love, through fear and pain, and always shine in your light.

In Sickness and In Health, Edification.

No, last week I did not make a PBP post. I felt bad about it, I enjoy making them, and I feel like they do help me put thoughts in order, but I was ill, and therefore had other priorities.

That said this week I am making a post, and I may even start scheduling others, (non PBP related.) In an attempt to help me better understand myself and my practice, and to force a little personal edification, I shall be posting more. Look for thoughts on Mondays and Tuesdays in addition to my usual Friday postings.

Today also marks My first anniversary with my wonderful husband, (sort of, we were married on the 29^th of February.) I am happy to be married to such a wonderful and supportive person.

Ahem, right, now on to my PBP post!

Edification

Woo hoo! That sounds a bit pretentious doesn’t it? Well it’s something I have been feeling, (no, I know edification is not a feeling, just bear with me.)

You know that place in your practice where you get used to it? You know your god/ddess/ deity/ whatnot. You know what you do that works, and you enjoy what you are doing, then about 3 years or so down the road you start to feel a little bit burnt-out, like these things you are doing are not doing for you what they once did? Many people suffer a crisis of (is faith the right word here?) at this point. Why do we let ourselves get to that point? Why do we let ourselves get used to things? Are we just trying to stay within our comfort zones, or do we fix ourselves on the patterns of every-day life, and making our practices every-day at the same time.

We forget to keep learning and growing, we no longer stand in awe of the universe, thinking we already understand it. We allow ourselves to become weighed down by groups or life and do not take the time for our personal and spiritual learning. So many people are depressed or anxious about the world and life that it gets in the way. But learning and growing is always good for us, and learning almost anything can be a spiritual endeavor. Why shouldn’t it be? Make it part of a daily devotion (or weekly, depending on how much time you really do have.) to learn something new, about the world, about history, about your deity, about everything!

Make life your edification!

Breathe new life into what you do whenever you can!

Devotion

Woo Hoo! I got the first letter of my post title to be this week’s letter!

So devotion, seems ambiguous, there a few ways to define devotion, from dictionary.com

de·vo·tion

/dɪˈvoʊ ʃən/ Show Spelled [dih-voh-shuh n] Show IPA

noun

1.

profound dedication; consecration.

2.

earnest attachment to a cause, person, etc.

3.

an assignment or appropriation to any purpose, cause, etc.: the devotion of one's wealth and time to scientific advancement.

4.

Often, devotions. Ecclesiastical . religious observance or worship; a form of prayer or worship for special use.

This oddly enough seems to be something people struggle with. So often newer pagans who don’t really have a grasp yet on just how umbrella the term is or what they mean when they say they are a new pagan start out confused. So often, because of how the term tends to be connoted, people come under the impression that they need to devote themselves to a deity of some kind, or they need to find a patron god and goddess, and devote themselves to them. If it is something you really want to do, go for it, but if it is something you are struggling with, DON’T DO IT!

Can I stress that point again, if it feels wrong DO NOT DO IT!

Doing things because you think it is the right thing to do, but you don’t understand or truly believe it is a bad plan, it has always been a bad plan, and it likely always will be. I’m not saying that any minor discomfort about change should stop you, any differentiation from your “norm” is going to feel a little awkward at first. Moral compunctions about doing something, or you don’t understand why you are doing it, the thing is best left un-done. Making a pledge to a deity you may find later fails to speak to you, or does not make you feel right, is a generally bad idea, wait until something feels right, or you really understand the point of why you are doing it. Once it makes sense or you realize you have a reason to do it, or even feel called to do it, by all means do it. Don’t feel like you need a pair, a god and goddess, or that they have to be all from the same pantheon, or know that sometimes an unexpected deity will call to you, and when something like that happens you will know it has happened. If one calls to you and you are lucky enough to have a connection like that, you will know, and it will likely feel more right than picking something out of a book, just to do it.

Devotion has more than just the one meaning though. I have only gone over some of #2, but #3 comes up a lot, craft tools and whatnot. They are oft discussed, and held by many people in extreme esteem. There are also different opinions and schools of thought as to what can be considered a craft tool. Many want their tools only used for craft purposes, consecrated and purified, and never touched by another. This is fine, if you can afford to have tools specifically for witchy purposes, many of the tools made for such purposes are quite expensive, and sometimes unnecessary. For example, my first athame was a swiss army knife, given to me by a member of the church I grew up in when I joined the army. I was not going to cease to use the multi-purpose tool for the purpose it was designed for, (this thing was amazing for working on my assigned truck!) I just added a use to its already, frankly, extensive list. Yes I cleaned it before any symbolic or ritual use, or use in cutting herbs, but it still meant a lot to me, and to me it felt like it was more powerful since I used it day to day, rather than letting it sit on a table not having a purpose any more. I suppose it is another one of those things that some people find more effective one way and others, another.

I feel like most of these definitions are already pretty much covered under #1 with profound dedication but #4 is slightly more difficult for pagans. There are whole walls of books dedicated to nothing but devotions for the different Christian faiths, but not so much for pagans. Well there is a very good one online, run by Thalassa, and has a number of contributors as well.

Pagan Devotionals

Our bible is the wind and the rain… and more.

Cleansing Life

Yes the last post was about cleaning, but this one is about cleansing, not the same thing, but similar ideas.

Cleansing spiritually, yourself, your home, any tools you may use. This should be done regularly, or as needed. There are all sorts of opinions as to when and how to do a cleansing, Tools are supposed to be cleared of energy at the full moon, and lunar cycles are not bad timelines for getting things done either. I personally find the full moon a good time for meditation and mind clearing, but I do not feel like it is a requirement. If you need to cleanse your mind, do it when it needs to be done, you do not have to wait until the full moon, new moon, or some specific sabbat, some things need doing when they need doing.

Some use sage, incense, and oils, different tools and rituals, and as said above different lunar cycles, but all you really need is yourself. Your own mind and inner visualizations are more than enough to accomplish a simple purpose, if you can visualize the energy running through you for a specific purpose, and you can feel it, and direct it you can use it for whatever purpose you need. All you need is your intent and the will to direct the energy. I helps to have a private space, or at least a group concentrating on the same purpose to do this, but it is not necessary. It only takes a moment to clear your mind and build energy, all the other things done during rituals or formal spells is mostly pomp, it can certainly aid in the process, but the key in all of it is the person making it work, throwing their intent and purpose behind it, using their energy and directing it, and knowing that it will work. Cleansing is really no different, whether cleansing your mind or aura, your home or some new crystals, you can do it all by yourself. Some days you just need that moment, the renewed energy running through you, and a short personal cleansing can help, along with some simple meditation can turn your whole day around. It is a simple step but one which is so often forgotten.

 Any technique you use, embrace it, and do it, let the energy around you be clear. Keep yourself cleansed!

Sometimes, You Just Need More Paint!

So I have recently moved into a new apartment, and have had all of the fun experiences which come with it. One of the big fun things to do is clean the heck out of the old apartment, (who doesn’t want their security deposit back?) So now suddenly you have new questions, like how do you get all those candle drippings off of the carpet, or what the heck were you boiling to get that particular splash stain on this odd section of wall, and how do I remove it, or where the heck did that mess come from, and why did you not notice it before? These things also come up this time of year anyway, It is Imbolc! It is the time of year when nature is cleaning away last year and making way for the new spring. It is only fitting that this is what I should be doing come this holiday! Now we just have to figure out how to deal with the crazy unexpected cleaning that happens to come up. We also need to try and figure out if we even can fix them. Well it is ok, most of these things are fixable, mostly.

So, yes I found this awesome blob of orange candle wax on my carpet, right under where I keep my altar, I imagine I spilled at one time and never bothered to MOVE THE ALTAR and check beneath it. Really, though, by the time you notice you have candle wax on the carpet, let’s face it, you have candle wax on your carpet. If it is still melted try and find something to absorb it DO NOT SCRUB! If you scrub and push the wax, it will end up deeper in your carpet. Just carefully pat it, being careful not to redeposit the wax on new parts of the carpet. The next instinct is to melt the wax out of the carpet, which is one of the most efficient ways to do it, but again NO SCRUBBING! Once the wax is far enough in the carpet, there just is no getting it out, so leave the scrubbie brush behind for this one. Hair dryers are amiable and they get hot and seem like a lovely option for melting that wax, and they are, but it goes very slowly, melt a bit of wax, dab it up, over and over, but it works. Another option and one I like even better involves a paper bag, towel and an iron. Put the towel on the floor next to the stain, or large rag, or whatever you do not mind having a bit of wax on. Then lay the paper bag, cut so it is just 1 layer thick, upon the wax, and set the iron on it, on high and warmed up, do not leave the iron sit there, your carpet is likely made of something which can melt, and it totally will. As you carefully drag the paper out of the iron slowly, and over the towel, you will see that the paper soaks the wax like a sponge. For larger wax deposits you will need more paper, but the concept does not change. Heavily dyed wax may leave a dye residue, but that can often be cared for using an ordinary carpet cleaner. Viola, no more wax carpet.

How you care for the strange wall stains in the kitchen is going to depend a lot upon what you kitchen is walled with, and how best to care for those surfaces. I was lucky, I had an awkward stain on tile, which was nice and shiny, and could ultimately be cleaned with nearly anything. But some stains are nasty and contain grease, and just will not wipe away easily, or even scrub away, and for these you have a few options, soak it in a high chemically concentrated cleaner, or scrub it better. One of the things which works fairly well, and does a lot of the scrubbing for you, is lemon and salt. Yep lemon and salt, just simple table salt works, and half a lemon. Squeeze some of the juice out of your lemon, it is going to be your scrubbie! You dip the open half of lemon in a bowl of salt, get enough salt on there that it is not all going to melt, and scrub your wall! Beware, do not do this with soft paint walls, you will strip the paint! This works best on tiled surfaces. The salt and lemon juice eat away at the stain, and the salt scrubs, and gets into the grout where you need friction to scrub. Lemon juice is acidic and will mildly bleach some surfaces, so this is not the tool for dyed grouts. But my white tile and grout, suddenly looked white again. This works well on bathroom tile too, but will not properly remove mold, but that stuff just will not die, the best plan with that is start hammering at it as soon as you notice it, never let mold build up.

The strange mess was another problem entirely. A can of soda had been spilled in the bedroom, down behind a bookshelf, and well hidden. The walls were painted with a porous matte paint, which is more than a little difficult to clean. The trouble was, when the soda was spilled, no one moved the bookshelf, or bothered telling me that there was a mess. So this stain had the advantage of who knows how long to seep into the wall. I tried everything I could think of, I even mixed chemicals with the intention of stripping a layer of paint off of the wall. It was no good folks. The dark icky liquid had seeped in all the way, stained the paint, and was not going to release my wall. Soda is evil, I know doctors and dentists say it, about your health, but nobody listens to them. But soda will absolutely ruin a painted wall, clean it while it is fresh. Do not give it the chance to surprise you and force you to repaint your wall, which is what the ultimate solution was, paint match, and use an ultra-thin layer of paint to hide the stain, this worked ok because I had already taken a layer of paint off of the wall, so there was space to put a new layer.

Moving can be a challenge, but there are all sorts of simple ways to clean and repair all sorts of things. Don’t let the crazy stuff get you down, there is always a solution, even if it is not what you were expecting. Now I am moved in and living under a pile of boxes, until I manage to unpack them all. Just keep in mind that most messes are easiest to clean early, even for the most industrious little witch, and regardless of what you have in your arsenal, sometimes, you just need more paint.

Cats and Crows and Late Winter Snows

There.

I’m finally doing it.

I am finally giving some context and meaning to the title of my blog!

They all mean something to me, whether it is magical, mundane or otherwise.

             First things first, I suppose, I love cats. I always have. There is just something about them all domestic, wild, or anything in between, that is fascinating to me. We had cats when I was very young, but when my mom and brother and I moved out of my grandparent’s house, we did not get more. My father was allergic, and not too fond of them anyway. So I had to wait until I was married and living with my husband before I would have a kitty again. Now I have two, Cthulhu and Realta. Cthulhu has some minor personality issues, which means she is not particularly fond of people, or them doing things. She will gladly roll onto her back as though she wants a tummy rub, and then will proceed to try and tear off whatever body part you have deigned to put near her. If she decides she is actually itchy she will suddenly become a purring cuddly ball of sweetness, but only when she wants to.



Cthulhu next to Realta,
 I swear they are not really this fat



Realta is different, not in that she likes people better, she is just a wee more justified. She was a rescue kitten, and before she was rescued she was feral. This is an odd situation in Delaware, as feral cats are considered wild animals, like squirrels, and will not be picked up and have homes found for them. Whatever happened to her that made someone decide she needed human help resulted in her ultimately losing one of her hind legs, and being a little bit paranoid. Paranoid or not this sweet little cutie loves attention, as long as she knows you and she is not busy being frightened by a dust mote. She does have an affinity to when I am utilizing magic, or meditating, or even preforming simple ritual or prayer.  She has to have a seat on my lap and have a nap. Sometimes she brings presents, things she finds on the floor, like coins or a crumpled bit of paper she dug out of the trash. All of them manage to mean something to what I am doing.  She just seems to have a place with me.

            Crows have always been there, massing somewhere nearby in the sky, shadowing me from somewhere.. They have never been an ill omen for me, they have always felt more like protection. They have never been ravens, despite my misidentifying them as such in my youth. As I got older and learned more about different spiritual paths, I learned how to identify with them, I even have a crow as a spirit companion. There seems to be a naivety to the crow, a sense that no matter how wise or even ferocious they may seem, or become, there will always be some kind of innocence or incorruptibility to them. Yes they are scavengers, and yes they can be frightening in numbers, but they occupy that in-between space. They are not pure like doves, or fun to look at like some exotic birds, their calls are not particularly melodic, but this does not make them evil. It only means that they are a different part of nature, of our own natures. This gives them the ability to have within them a connection to the everything, and to remain disconnected. They are neither blazing light, nor engulfing darkness, they are spiritually open, without the temperance of bias.

           Late winter snows are just awesome. You get all of the beauty of snow, and the warmth to sit outside and enjoy it in.

Thinking of today...

There are a few things I am thinking of today THIS is one of them. As a woman who has deployed to a combat zone, I think it is long past time that we admit we've already been in combat for years! Especially in the recent conflicts. I just wonder how many more men are going to come up to me and comment on the headline about how inappropriate it is to have women in combat? Maybe they would bugger off if they knew they were insulting me to my face? Well, it doesn't matter, the pentagon is doing it and a bunch of old fat men aren't going to stop it!

Here is the other thing that I am thinking about.

This video and monologue made me cry when I saw it over at Thalassa's Blog. The things that are being leveled at women, the struggles we still have when it comes to being treated the same as a man doing the same thing are not OK. The way media and congress people are trying to make us feel about the ways in which we use our bodys and how we look and who we are, are NOT OK! A woman should have the right to enjoy her body, in a spiritual (or not) way if she wants. What is demonized for women is considered normal and expected for men. I want to be able to hold the same job as a man, and I want to be paid the same for it. That is one reason that the women in the military made me so happy.

I know these things don't feel pagan-y, or spiritual to some people, but they matter so much to me. They matter like not being forced to be someone elses religion matters to me. These things matter to me like my right to marry matters to me, and like my friend's rights matter to me. America wants to be the land of the free, so let's make freedom ring, let it ring without us having to say it, let our actions speak for themselves! I want to continue to be free, and the day I cannot be while living in this country, will be a sad day indeed.

A Blessing

After the final candle is lit, I fall down to my knees. Eyes closed, back and forth, swaying to the sound of the chant. Gripped by the sensation of falling, I am steel and the chant continues. I reach the bottom, there is no ground to rise up and meet me, but I am standing, just the same. A soft glow starts at the edge of vision and grows into many small soft lights, like candles along a path. The soft lights float above the floor as if alive and unattached to any space, floating above the gentle mist. I am walking, almost upon the mist, though it feels like soft grass, in my toes. The lights lead me through a thicker mist that twists and forms into a black and dark forest, but between the lights is safety, and I am confident that here nothing can escape, nothing can touch me, unless I permiss it. The lights are beginning to get excited, they move and twist, they separate as though they need room to convulse, and dance, as unattached lights should. I feel a rhythm or a drum start to beat, from deep within my root, deeper than there seems space for. So my feet move, and I raise my arms, and ecstatic dance that I have never learned but always known. Even the dark misty trees sway and convulse to the new rhythm. I am not alone in my wild exuberance either, there are others here entranced by this strange music as well. There is one here, especially graceful as well, her exceptional elegance eclipsed only by her fierce strength.  The dance now centers around her, it is suddenly wilder, and more erratic, but no one misses a step, no one is felled by the movements. As we all move inexorably towards the dances climax, the dark mist enters the circle surrounding us all, and seems to permeate us weaving itself within the dance, creating  a barrier sealing us in. Closer, closer, until we all seem to be ready to collide, but even our fingertips never seem to touch.

She stops suddenly, looking straight at me, her gaze locked upon my own eyes, and abruptly all those dancing with me are me, merged into one, whole again. “Child, you asked for protection, for a blessing, and now you have it.” Her voice is melodic but strong, though it is shouted and whispered and sung all at once. “I have multiplied your spirit, and lent you my shield, I give you my sword as well, just know when to leave it sheathed. Go now and know that you are protected, know that you are mine.” With an otherworldly grace, a hand rises to my shoulder, and a heat radiates off of her and through my body, filling me. Then suddenly she is turning around and away, walking, fading, back into the mist, and it is my turn to continue back down the path I came from. Now the lights are what I am walking upon, almost carrying me back to where I belong. Back, back to the place where once I was falling, now lifting . Slowly I know I am rocking, chanting, though so softly now. My eyes open to the candle now burned down to a bit of a nub.




(I had titled this post differently, but determined that its former title was just too goofy for me, so I shall not bend over backwards to make the weeks letter go first!)

Half baked

So today I am going to bring up a particularly enjoyable topic, (for me at least,) Spells!

ZOMG! She has cheated on the Pagan Blog Project already!

Well I haven’t, specifically, I am referring to spells in Baking, Yes baking! Spell craft and baking absolutely go hand in hand!

I am completely serious. Baking with intent is one of my very favorite ways to do any kind of spell work. It is a lovely and loving ritual, and fits in with all sorts of different spells. What better way to protect and bless your friends, self and loved ones than from the inside out? Anything seasonal can become a spell, (or out of season, seasonal will likely be cheaper and easier though.)

If I am just doing a regular spell, with candles and an altar and such, I tend to use things which are already readily available in my pantry, so for me the transition is fairly seamless. I build energy when I stir something by hand, (machines work too, I just don’t have room for the big ones.) I concentrate on intent while I measure and pour.  This is wonderful for festivals and celebrations too. It is my very favorite form of ritual, and my husband likes it too! This is something you can get children involved in, and it’s almost traditional for everyone. My grandmother taught me and my mother how to bake, and it always mattered that you bake with love, an idea that goes hand in hand with spell work, intent! If you do traditional rituals, and you use food, cakes and ale, or bread, having blessed food is always a bonus.

I always bake a calming and health spell before a particularly hectic or trying week, if I know it is coming, and after a trying week the action can be quite cathartic and help even relieve stress in the actions, in addition to the magickal benefits.

Again!

So when I started posting under the Pagan Blog Project, I probably should have noticed a few things; First, that I started a week late. Second, apparently, I am posting on the wrong day.

Today’s post will be an attempt not only to catch up, (on totally the wrong day!) but, to expound on my previous topic, because I feel like I did not do it the justice it deserved, or even really make it my own. In that respect, here we have it!

Ancestors, Again!

So ancestor veneration is important on many paths and not just pagan ones, and just starting out, I had decided that it was something that I was supposed to do, so I did it. The problem with that is that I had no memory of ancestors, (I have known all of my grandparents, but at the time, they were all alive.) Great grandparents were little more than names, and very few pictures. My family did not keep a lot of pictures about, and especially few of those who had passed. I was starting from blank space, I had no place to look for meaning. I had a mirror, a glass of water, and a candle, and that was it, the whole ritual was meaningless to me. I had no connection to it. So I stopped. That worked out just fine too. As I moved away from the path I had started on, I realized that the idea of ancestors did mean something to me but not in a traditional “these people were related to me” sense. My own ancestors did not mean very much, but there have always been people here, where I live, taking care of themselves and their families, people who may have walked paths similar to my own, that they have had to cut for themselves. Why couldn’t these people be my ancestors? So they are!

I am not alone, I may not walk a physical path with others, but in spiritual workings, I have guidance. If I walk the underworld, there are those who walk beside me, I may not know so much who they were, but I know who they are for me. Since then I have had a set of grandparents die, and they occasionally walk with me, they were mostly Christian in their own time, but this has apparently not stopped my paternal grandmother from being with me at times. Even solitaries need not practice alone, there are always those who came before you, and there always will be, your ancestors will be to you who they are, and no one should be able to say otherwise!

There, now I feel better.

Ancestor veneration

This will be the first article in an alphabet series, I am totally new to blogging, so I am borrowing this Idea from a post by blogger Thalassa regarding the Pagan Blog Project, (seen below.)

Ancestors

Ancestor worship and reverence is a big part of many cultures, peoples, and faiths. Many paths include it and many people find it a good way to stay in touch with the world around them and themselves even. Ancestors don’t have to be worshipped like gods, but being respectful never hurts, having the blessings and protections of the parts of your family who came before you is never a bad thing.

Respecting your ancestors can bring you help in many forms, but it should not be thought of as a tit for tat sort of situation. Don’t think of them as a means to an end, or a tool to be used, it is disrespectful and defeats the purpose of honoring them. Just keep them good tempered and in your thoughts and when a time comes that you do need something, they may be more inclined to offer assistance.

Honoring your ancestors can take many forms, some people make offerings and keep altars, some people honor them in what they do, they say prayers, research their family backgrounds, memorize all the people who have passed on.  It all depends on what speaks to you. Even non-pagans have some form of ancestor veneration. In Hispanic Catholicism, they light candles and leave glasses of water out for passed loved ones, with pictures of the deceased and various saints to look out for them. Families who can afford it have big stone monuments built for loved ones, (grave stones) and most grave sites are marked in some way. Even scattering the ashes of the deceased is a sign of respect for loved ones.

Ancestors can be anyone who has gone before you, they all now have some knowledge that you do not possess, (even if it is just “what comes after?”) Anyone who was not respected in life is going to be harder to establish a connection with after death, even if just for protection of your family. Also those who were not good people in life are not necessarily going to change that in death, but some do.

I personally have very few people in my ancestry I can actively remember, anyone I did not know personally was not often talked about, and in the early days of my immediate family there was some turmoil that separated me from the paternal part of my family permanently. This does not stop me from making connections, or giving family the respect that they deserve. I don’t have photos of my own, just memories and things that remind me of those who came before. These things occupy a wall near the table my actual altar resides, and they surround a tiny mirror, as it is said in many cultures that they reside on the other side of the mirror.  (This is usually the case, but I am currently packing up to move, so everything is shuffled about. Pictures will be posted at a later date.)

Thalassa’s post-  http://nuannaarpoq.wordpress.com/2013/01/08/pagan-blog-project-from-the-arche/

Introduction, we all need introducing, right?

So I’ve never tried this whole Blog writing thing, but always sort of wanted to, I just never had much of anything to say. I think I have plenty to say now though,  I think I do, I may not…

Long story short I am a Pagan, I have been for a number of years now. I believe in a non-Abrahamic version of god, I am very happy with my beliefs they evolve, but hey, doesn’t everything?  In addition to being a pagan I am what is generally referred to as a kitchen witch.

 I am a witch, have we gotten over that yet? Cool, let’s move on.

 I do not have any fancy initiations, I don’t reconstruct or recreate anything, (save a good recipe!) and I am not part of a big fancy coven, or a high something of anything. I am just me practicing my craft at home, for the most part by myself. I use my kitchen and kitchen tools in my practice, and things tend to be fairly simple. I don’t really care what color candle I am using for what, I don’t call corners and I don’t cast circles, and the charge of the goddess is a nice thing I’ve read in a book, but it isn’t mine. I’m not a particularly good tree hugger either, I like nature, just not on me. I am also not a vegetarian, sorry I like meat, and meat is part of the natural order, and…. I don’t care if it seems wrong, I like meat, and I shall likely continue eating it into the foreseeable future…

I do a lot of things at home, I make salves, and things as I can. I like natural herbal remedies, when they work.  I like to be able to make things myself, too many things are too expensive, and are way cheaper, and easier than shopping and buying them! These things will likely feature greatly in my writings, and I may share some recipes and things here.

I guess some proper basics are in order too, I am a loving wife, newly married, with no children just yet, I have 2 cats, and I currently reside in a little tiny apartment in a college town in Delaware. The living arrangement is likely to change, but this is pretty much us right now! I like to cook and craft what I can, and I have a bit of a propensity for video games, but I love learning, and I love being with my family.