Growing; Get up and do it already

So this post is going to be a bit of a mixed bag on too many things. It may not even feel connected to itself. It has been an exceedingly rough week, and I am quite done with it. I had a different post planned, one that was going to be thoughtful and maybe even stoic, good and properly Pagan in all of the right places, but today and this week just aren’t the times for them. It has been bad enough that I am having some trouble putting thoughts together, but I know I need to, for my own piece of mind.

I won’t get into the specifics of what happened this week, well not all of them, but I will say what I said on FB, (I don’t always like admitting that I use it.) If this week had been food, I would return it, without wanting a replacement or my money back, I just want it gone. Over. Done. There were a series of really quite unfortunate events, which, while completely unrelated to one another, ultimately culminated in the death of my paternal grandmother on Thursday. She had not even been very sick for long, she was only really ill the last few weeks, she was in and out of the hospital, and then all at once, she passed. Her husband passed on good Friday of the previous year, so I suppose that it makes sense that she would pass so very close to her beloved husband of 60 years in a similar fashion, on a similarly holy day of their faith. It is hard to see my father, a generally somewhat closed emotionally man, break down and cry so often. Losing your mother has got to be hard.

Being who I am though, and what I am, I know that dying is a part of being alive, and it is such a necessary part of being alive too. Because what is life, if we did not die? What would it mean? What COULD it mean? Being philosophical, or understanding about it, doesn’t make it happier, nicer, or frankly, easier to deal with. But it does give me a different way to deal with it. The thing I am keenest on doing right now is taking a bit of soil from both gravesites, (I first need to check on the legality, or local rules of such a thing, can’t be caught doing something can get me arrested…) and putting it into a pot and starting a small tree. The only current problem with this is the lack of a place to put the poor little tree once I have started it. Unless I plan on keeping it as a bonsai, which I have had less than poor luck with in the past.

This is not meant to be the entirety of my post. I have no intention of lingering on the past, or on the negative, every life should be a celebration, (again, death being a part of said life.) and I mean to have a few drinks in the honor of my ancestors, especially the newest within the ranks of ancestors in spirit. Another thing I have been meaning to do is find a proper spiritual community in the area I am currently living. I have had an affinity for the Unitarian Universalist church recently and have been meaning to attend a service or two and see what it is all about. The doctrines sit well with me, and the specific mission statement of the local congregation (dunno if I am using the correct word,) are of particular interest to me.

As members of a welcoming, religiously liberal community, we care deeply about each other, our children, our neighbors and our Earth.

Together, we provide a haven for nourishing the spirit and mind, while we strive to build a just and sustainable world.

We covenant to respect our differences, and to commit our time, our treasures and ourselves to this mission.

I just cannot argue with a belief system like this. Any organization that is built upon these beliefs seems well suited to me and what I do. I suppose my biggest hurdle is that I have not been “church going” in a number of years. I seem to not want to break out of the “spend the day in pajamas” cycle. I basically need to get my butt out of my lovely-loungy bed, and get to this lovely place and be a part of a community in a more personal sense, and in a larger sense. It is time to care for the world around me in a way that makes a visible difference. Not for myself, as I don’t much care what the world at large thinks of me, but I do care about what the world at large thinks of pagans, and I really do want to make a positive impact in that way.
So here is to taking what the powers that be throws at you and growing from it. Here’s also to getting the heck up and just doing it!

Again!

So when I started posting under the Pagan Blog Project, I probably should have noticed a few things; First, that I started a week late. Second, apparently, I am posting on the wrong day.

Today’s post will be an attempt not only to catch up, (on totally the wrong day!) but, to expound on my previous topic, because I feel like I did not do it the justice it deserved, or even really make it my own. In that respect, here we have it!

Ancestors, Again!

So ancestor veneration is important on many paths and not just pagan ones, and just starting out, I had decided that it was something that I was supposed to do, so I did it. The problem with that is that I had no memory of ancestors, (I have known all of my grandparents, but at the time, they were all alive.) Great grandparents were little more than names, and very few pictures. My family did not keep a lot of pictures about, and especially few of those who had passed. I was starting from blank space, I had no place to look for meaning. I had a mirror, a glass of water, and a candle, and that was it, the whole ritual was meaningless to me. I had no connection to it. So I stopped. That worked out just fine too. As I moved away from the path I had started on, I realized that the idea of ancestors did mean something to me but not in a traditional “these people were related to me” sense. My own ancestors did not mean very much, but there have always been people here, where I live, taking care of themselves and their families, people who may have walked paths similar to my own, that they have had to cut for themselves. Why couldn’t these people be my ancestors? So they are!

I am not alone, I may not walk a physical path with others, but in spiritual workings, I have guidance. If I walk the underworld, there are those who walk beside me, I may not know so much who they were, but I know who they are for me. Since then I have had a set of grandparents die, and they occasionally walk with me, they were mostly Christian in their own time, but this has apparently not stopped my paternal grandmother from being with me at times. Even solitaries need not practice alone, there are always those who came before you, and there always will be, your ancestors will be to you who they are, and no one should be able to say otherwise!

There, now I feel better.

Ancestor veneration

This will be the first article in an alphabet series, I am totally new to blogging, so I am borrowing this Idea from a post by blogger Thalassa regarding the Pagan Blog Project, (seen below.)

Ancestors

Ancestor worship and reverence is a big part of many cultures, peoples, and faiths. Many paths include it and many people find it a good way to stay in touch with the world around them and themselves even. Ancestors don’t have to be worshipped like gods, but being respectful never hurts, having the blessings and protections of the parts of your family who came before you is never a bad thing.

Respecting your ancestors can bring you help in many forms, but it should not be thought of as a tit for tat sort of situation. Don’t think of them as a means to an end, or a tool to be used, it is disrespectful and defeats the purpose of honoring them. Just keep them good tempered and in your thoughts and when a time comes that you do need something, they may be more inclined to offer assistance.

Honoring your ancestors can take many forms, some people make offerings and keep altars, some people honor them in what they do, they say prayers, research their family backgrounds, memorize all the people who have passed on.  It all depends on what speaks to you. Even non-pagans have some form of ancestor veneration. In Hispanic Catholicism, they light candles and leave glasses of water out for passed loved ones, with pictures of the deceased and various saints to look out for them. Families who can afford it have big stone monuments built for loved ones, (grave stones) and most grave sites are marked in some way. Even scattering the ashes of the deceased is a sign of respect for loved ones.

Ancestors can be anyone who has gone before you, they all now have some knowledge that you do not possess, (even if it is just “what comes after?”) Anyone who was not respected in life is going to be harder to establish a connection with after death, even if just for protection of your family. Also those who were not good people in life are not necessarily going to change that in death, but some do.

I personally have very few people in my ancestry I can actively remember, anyone I did not know personally was not often talked about, and in the early days of my immediate family there was some turmoil that separated me from the paternal part of my family permanently. This does not stop me from making connections, or giving family the respect that they deserve. I don’t have photos of my own, just memories and things that remind me of those who came before. These things occupy a wall near the table my actual altar resides, and they surround a tiny mirror, as it is said in many cultures that they reside on the other side of the mirror.  (This is usually the case, but I am currently packing up to move, so everything is shuffled about. Pictures will be posted at a later date.)

Thalassa’s post-  http://nuannaarpoq.wordpress.com/2013/01/08/pagan-blog-project-from-the-arche/